Home Again!

I am glad Brett and I got to take a road trip together. We have a few favorite sayings now. One night when we went to dinner Brett put on some cologne before we left for the restaurant. While we were ordering the young waitress looked right at him and said, "Someone at this table smells so good." There was this awkward and uncomfortable silence. Then she said, "I'm just saying." Brett and I say that to each other now whenever we want to make a point. "Brett, I think 85 is too fast to drive. I'm just saying." "Mom, I think it is time to hurry up and get on the road. I'm just saying."

This road trip gave us shared memories and a chance to find an easy companionship away from all the things that normally distract us. There is something about communicating while traveling in a car. The intensity of looking each other in the eyes is not possible. Somehow you feel safer to share the more profound parts of life.

Brett leaves on September 13 for a year in Norwich, England.....if he gets his visa. We are still waiting for it to arrive. Skype will be the only way I will get to see him. But I will have sacred memories to draw on.

• Brett and I riding an intertube together down a waterslide in Brandon, SD.
• Brett walking in front of me down steep trails so I wouldn't stumble.
• Brett riding a horse, a look of complete contentment on his face.
• Brett carefully and with great care steering his grandfather's wheelchair down the ramp of the handicap van.
• Brett and I singing our favorite songs together as we traveled.

Now we are home again. What a privilege it is to have a home. What a privilege it is to have a home you love. Bryan was waiting for us and Brett and I are giddy to be here. Brett left fairly soon to catch up with friends and I went over to see Chuck Boyer. He is in his final time and I wanted to have a chance to say good-bye.

I knew of Chuck when I was in high school and he worked for the denomination. When I married Bryan and changed my last name to Boyer many people assumed I was his daughter or daughter-in-law. Bryan used to joke with Chuck at Annual Conference that he (Bryan) should wear a tag that said, "No, I am not Chuck's son but please love me anyway." I never dreamed at that young age that I would follow him as a pastor or that I would be his pastor.

There is something so real about Chuck. With gentleness and acceptance, Chuck spoke his truths and invited others into relationship with him. Chuck had a gift of hospitality. If you had a conversation with him he gave you the feeling that he had all the time in the world and he was hoping to spend it with you. When people in the denomination treated him badly about his call for inclusion, he kept on loving.

It wasn't until I moved here in 2002 that I got to know Shirley Boyer. I am glad they found each other because together they are an amazing duo of warmth and welcome. Shirley has walked through this journey of Chuck's declining health with courage, wit and openness. That is how I found her yesterday. What an amazing woman!

I am so glad I got home in time to see Chuck again. His example and his love have taught me so much. I will be eternally grateful.

Beautiful, Beautiful Zion

After I posted last night, Brett and I decided we wanted to enjoy stars. We drove to the Zion National Park Visitor's Center parking lot. We had beach chairs in the trunk and we set them up so that we could sit and look at the sky. Before long the clouds rolled in and then it began lightning. Brett got some awesome photos.

We got up early so that we could avoid the heat. We had planned to hike to Weeping Rock together. But my knee was acting up to the point that I couldn't move without pain. So I rode the

Zion shuttle throughout the park and Brett hiked to the Upper and Middle Emerald Pools. Because of the rain yesterday there was a waterfall and the river was full. About the time that the crowds rolled in and the park got hot, Brett and I had packed up the car and headed out.

The last stop on our awesome road trip is Las Vegas. It doesn't quite fit the other things we have been doing. We came here because it happens to be on our way home and Brett wanted to ride the roller coaster on the Stratosphere. I told him I would gladly take pictures. But the wind here is phenomenal and riding the coaster isn't even an option.

What a city this is! You can smoke inside; hire a gondolier to paddle you down a fake canal while serenading you; eat yourself silly; and get married with an Elvis impersonator as the officiant. This is so not my town. I miss my community, my own bed, my husband.....I will be glad to get home.

Saturated with Beauty

Brett and I have almost become overly saturated in beauty. Our minds can't seem to take in any more wonders. Yesterday we drove through the Rocky Mountain National Park on Trail Ridge road. It has spectacular vistas but Brett slept through a major part of it. When he woke up he asked if we could ever get to our hotel before bedtime. We pulled into the Holiday Inn Express in Green River, Utah after 9 p.m.

We started our day early this morning dropped down to Capitol Reef National Park. I have wanted to see petroglyphs and today I got my wish.

They were amazing....except that modern day park guests had added their own petroglyphs to the same rock formation.

We ate sandwiches in the car and rushed to Bryce National Park. It was raining when we arrived. I have a hard time walking down hill because of my knees. So I hiked up to a couple incredible viewpoints and then I walked back down by putting both my hands on Brett's shoulders and following him back down. What a fabulous son! He doesn't even seem embarrassed by me. There are so many things I have seen on this trip that I couldn't have managed without his help and patience.

Two National Parks in one day didn't seem like enough so we headed off for Zion. We came in from the east on Highway 9 along a most fabulous scenic byway. A herd of big horn sheep walked in front of our

car shortly before we drove through a mile long tunnel. We are staying in a beautiful hotel with views of Zion surrounding us and we arrived before dinnertime! We ate at the Whiptail Grill, suggested by the Meeks. My sesame encrusted ginger tofu was the best meal I have had on this whole trip.

Zion is a great hiking location. Tomorrow we are hoping to find a trail I can handle and yet still reeks of the beauty of this place.

Black Hills

Several people recommended that if we were going to be in the Black Hills we should be sure and visit the Crazy Horse Memorial. It is a rock carving in progress. It is so large that the heads of the four presidents at Mt. Rushmore could fit inside of the head of Crazy Horse. It's creation began in the 1940s and so far all that is clearly definable is the head of Crazy Horse. Our bus driver guessed that it would take another 10-12 years to finish just the head of the horse Crazy Horse is riding. There are numerous museums, gifts shops and craft stalls to wander through. We spent a considerable amount of time there and just scratched the surface.

We didn't want to leave the Black Hills without resting near a lake so we went to Sylvan Lake. What a gorgeous spot. The last item on our agenda for the day was to go to Jewel Cave. We took a wrong turn out of Sylvan Lake and ended up at the Eye of the Needle, a rock formation, on the Needle's Highway. It was spectacular. Brett and I both jumped out of the car with our cameras.

Next to the Eye of the Needle is a tunnel carved into the rock that is about 8 feet wide and 12 feet high. While we were snapping pictures a bus went through the tunnel....very slowly. You could see no light around the vehicle. I started a round of applause when he made it through without mishap.

Having realized that we had made a wrong turn we retraced our route and headed for Jewel Cave. They regularly give two kinds of tours: Discovery tour which is completely handicap accessible and the Scenic Tour which travels 1.5 miles and involves 723 stairs. I knew I couldn't do that many steps but Brett was going to take the longer tour and I was going to do the "easy" tour. It is highly recommend that you call ahead and reserve a spot on the tour you want. As soon as I had any phone reception I did. All they had left was the "easy" tour at 4:25 p.m. We signed up. It was a tad bit disappointing to travel down to the cave in an elevator and then spend 20 minutes on a platform in a big cavern with no interesting rock formations. Oh well, it was 49 degrees down there and I did enjoy the weather in the cave.

My parents took the family camping in the Black Hills twice. I remember it as an idyllic experience. We camped next to a stream in a deserted campground; kept our watermelon cold by submerging it in the stream; and hiked up the hill to an old mine shaft. My mother required that we keep a trip journal for every family vacation we took. My siblings and I now have copies of all those journals. I am looking forward to going home and finding the ones that include the Black Hills. I am curious where we stayed and what we did.

I do not like to camp but I can see myself camping in the Black Hills with Bryan. Now that is saying something......

Taxidermy

Even though the Midwest seems to be teeming with waterparks trying desperately to outdo each other, we headed for the Badlands. We would have loved to see them in the early morning light or with late afternoon shadows, but we arrived at 2 p.m. and were glad to get a chance to witness these amazing formations. Brett was so happy to find dry heat again.

Several hundred miles before we got to the Badlands, Wall Drug began advertising 5 cent coffee, homemade ice cream, free ice water, cowboy hats and much, much more. I had told the helpful woman at the tourist information center that I had no desire to stop there. But after a couple hours in the Badlands I was lured in by the promise of a restroom, homemade ice cream and a parking lot full of license plates from other states.

Wall Drug is 76,000 square feet of kitsch. You have to see it to believe it. They even have a chapel. Brett and I went in but surprise....no one was worshiping. I was finally dragged out by Brett who said we may never get out if we didn't leave soon.

But what amazes me most about this area is the amount of taxidermy I have seen. This picture was taken in a Mobil gas station. They had a lion, polar bear, giraffe, and so much more. I was astounded....as you can tell.

The final leg of our day was Mount Rushmore. We went out of our way so that we could drive in via Iron Mountain Road. I was told it was lovely but I really had no clue just how beautiful a drive could be. I was especially fond of the tunnels carved into the rock. That is actually Mount Rushmore you can see from the tunnel. We went there tonight but didn't stay very long. Maybe tomorrow we will see what it looks like with a little more light.

This is a rigorous road trip we planned. Both Brett and I commented today on the bags under our eyes. The problem is that the United States is filled with beauty and we want to see as much of it as we can.

Companionship

Brett and I were in four states today: Illinois, Wisconsin, Minnesota and South Dakota. We traveled just shy of 600 miles. Someone asked us over the weekend what was the longest stretch we went without talking. I said, "Whenever Brett is sleeping." We are enjoying each other's company. We listen to books on tape, podcasts and music. We are keeping track of all the license plates we see. Only 8 more states to go. A slug a bug war is ensuing. I think I am about seven sightings ahead of Brett. But mostly there is a comfort at being with each other. We laugh, tell stories, talk about how good it is to have family and tease each other.....all the time.

We arrived at our hotel tonight in the rain. The hotel has a water slide inside it. Brett convinced me to go down it twice. Then we saw this sunset. Life is filled with beauty. How lucky I am that I get to have this experience with Brett.

To Live Life Unashamedly

One of the churches I wanted to visit on my sabbatical was Trinity United

Church of Christ on Chicago's South Side. It's tag line is: "Unashamedly Black. Unapologetically Christian." When Jeremiah Wright was the pastor it went from a membership of 80 to 8,000. The website said that there was a service at 11 a.m. on Sunday so Brett, Matt and I were there by 10:30 a.m. Good thing because parking was at a premium and so was seating.

Everyone we met on the way in greeted us warmly. The choir had 115 members and almost all of them wore African clothing. The visual display of color was beautiful and the music was outstanding. There was also an interpretive dance troupe and a drill team that participated in the service. Otis Moss III is the Senior Minister and he is an excellent preacher. I have had the privilege of hearing him before. The bulletin was about 40 pages long. The order of worship took up one page and the rest consisted of a calendar of events, list of church ministries, space for sermon notes and prayer concerns, as well as several pages that addressed current events: the firing of Shirley Sherrod, Prop 8 and the response to an Islamic Cultural Center being built near Ground Zero.

The worship lasted three hours and the air conditioning had gone out at their 7:30 a.m. service. But it didn't feel like I had been there too long. I felt filled with insight, beauty, celebration and praise. I was grateful to be with my sons and to have that shared experience.

By the time we got some lunch it was after 4 p.m. We really wanted to go up the Willis Tower (formerly the Sears Tower) and stand out on the clear observation decks. We probably spent more time waiting in line to go up to the "Skydeck" than we did enjoying the view. But it was amazing to see Chicago from that vantage point.

I had done some research and wanted to eat dinner at a particular restaurant that serves hibiscus flan. We arrived 20 minutes before closing and they said we were too late.

Matt had read that they do an hourly water/light/sound show at Buckingham Fountain. So we went back to the fountain and to Millennium Park to check out the "kidney bean" at night. We got back to the hotel and said good bye to Matt.

Matt and his girlfriend, Kairee, accepted a job in Korea while we were there. They will probably leave some time in October. I don't know if our farewell in the hotel lobby will be the last time I get to see Matt for a year. I hope not but if it is, "Travel well, son. I love being with you but I also love your independent, unafraid spirit of living. Enjoy your next adventure."

Chicago

Chicago is hot, sticky and beautiful. We took a walk this morning to Buckingham Fountain and then to Millennium Park. I especially enjoyed "Cloud Gate," which most people refer to as the kidney bean. There were hundreds of people interacting with this sculpture and with each other.

It is amazing how much free beauty you can find in a downtown urban center. The only problem was that we were completely dripping from the humidity by the time we returned to our hotel. However, there are many places to take off your shoes and dip your feet in the water.

This afternoon we got some amazing tacos and ate them in Wicker Park. I got to meet the family of Matt's girlfriend, Kairee. Her family is also in Chicago for the weekend. I have been struck over and over again on this road trip how good it is to have family. I have enjoyed watching the interactions between generations. Watching Matt play with Kairee's niece and nephew was one of the delights of my day. Seeing Matt and Brett laugh and talk fills my heart. What a privilege it is to be a mother of adult children.

Stairs, Claustrophobia and Twilight

I didn't blog last night because I was unwilling to pay the $15 the hotel charged to use the wi-fi. Brett and I are at a cafe with free internet access and the place is crawling with people.

We drove to St. Louis yesterday. Our goal was to make it up into the arch for sunset. What I didn't remember from my last trip up the arch was the long wait and the 90 steps. I will never take stairs for granted again. It is hard to have mobility issues while on a road trip.

Even though we arrived at 6:30 p.m. we did not make it to the top in time to see the sunset at 7:39. But twilight was better. We took way too many pictures and began our claustrophobic descent.

Today we are on the road to Chicago. My other son, Matt lives there. We are excited to see him and to see the Chicago he wants to show us.

We are at my sister's house outside of Potwin, Kansas. This morning we went to McPherson to see my father. He had a stroke in April of 2008 and has lost the ability to walk and his

communication is limited. Brett has not seen his grandfather since his stroke. After we spent time sharing and looking at pictures together I tried to trim my father's fingernails. I hurt him twice. So Brett said, "Mom, may I do that?" Very carefully and with complete focus, Brett began to cut his grandfather's fingernails. It is an image I will store in my brain....my son loving his grandfather and my dad trusting his grandson to care for him.

Then we took my father to a restaurant in McPherson called Amics. It is owned and operated by Shawn Kirchner's brother and sister-in-law. Brett loved the food and he is a bit of a food snob. It was the first time Brett had heard of making a wrap with avocado and pineapple in it. He is sold.

Tonight my two nephews and their families came over for supper. Brett hasn't seen his cousins since 2006. I loved the food, the family, the chaos and the harmony. It is good to have family.

My brother-in-law has several horses and Brett has been hoping to ride one. He has never been on a horse. Tonight after dusk, that changed. He rode Missy, a palomino. He is planning on riding again in the morning.

I am loving this road trip. Each day has been full of adventures. There are images from this trip I will carry with me for the rest of my life. Brett with his grandfather and Brett riding a horse for the first time are just two of them.

Great Sand Dunes

We spent the morning in Great Sand Dunes National Park. The mountains are in the back, the sand dunes in the middle and the prairie land in the front. We got up early so that we could see the shadows on the dunes. Brett climbed to the top of one of the dunes while I watched him through the binoculars. He wrote me a message in the sand, "Hi Mom." Then we headed to Zapata Falls. You actually have to hike through a creek bed in order to get back to the falls. I didn't make it all the way back but Brett took some nice pictures.

By the time we left the area it was after 11 a.m. We drove to Potwin, Kansas tonight to stay with my sister and her husband. We didn't get here until after 10 p.m. Tomorrow we will visit my father in the Cedars skilled nursing facility. Brett has not seen his grandfather for several years and he really wants to see his grandpa before he goes to England this fall.

Navigating another day

Brett and I got up at 5:45 a.m. to see morning twilight in Monument Valley. It was beautiful and we stayed longer in Monument Valley than we had planned. I had a hard time leaving the view.

On our itinerary for today was a trip to Mesa Verde National Park. I visited Mesa Verde as a child and remember being deeply impressed by the place. It is quite a drive up to to the mesa. Brett and I had hoped to go on a ranger guided tour of Cliff Palace but we didn't arrive early enough. So we took a self-guided tour of Spruce Tree House. I remember why I was so amazed by Mesa Verde as a child. The Native American Puebloans made these cliffs their home for more than 700 years. The whole area is an archaeological dream.

We are now staying in a motel right next to Great Sand Dunes National Park. We arrived after dark and in a rainstorm so we have no sense of the geographical layout around us. We are eager to get up tomorrow and explore the area.

I was thinking today about how road trips have changed. I studied Google maps before I left home. I plotted our trip that way and figured out mileage for each day. Bryan loaned me his GPS for the trip. For example, the hotel we stayed in last night gave latitude and longitude data for it's address on the website. That only helps if you have a GPS.

But the day before we left I told Bryan I felt like I needed a road atlas. I want the big picture. I want to know where Great Sand Dunes is in comparison to Mesa Verde. Plus, I couldn't get the GPS to work until we were almost to Monument Valley. Google maps didn't tell me that the exit we wanted in Flagstaff was closed due to construction. But since I had a road atlas I could navigate us a different way.

Bryan said that when he went to the bookstore to get me the road atlas he had to ask a sales associate where to find one. The young man seemed confused about why anyone would still need one of those archaic items. Sometimes I find the voice of the GPS comforting as she tells me to turn left in 1.4 miles but most of the time I would rather see it on paper.

A Perfect Day!

Brett and I are at Monument Valley in the Navajo Tribal Park in Utah. We are staying at the View hotel -- the only hotel in the tribal park. It deserves it's name. Every room faces to the east for what we are told are spectacular sunrises behind these two structures that are referred to as the "mittens." Morning twilight begins at 5:39 a.m. We are hoping to be up for it.

We got here in time for Brett to take a 4 mile run around the west mitten at sunset. When he still wasn't back by dark I was sure he had been bitten by a rattlesnake or had run off the trail and was lost. But, of course, he returned in fine condition and with tales of the beauty he had seen.

Every night this hotel shows one of the movies that has been filmed at Monument Valley. Tonight they are showing a John Wayne movie. They show it on an outside wall of the hotel. It sounds so cheesy we thought it would be fun to go but then we found out you could see it from our hotel balcony. If all of this wasn't fun enough there is a lightning storm passing by us and lighting up the "mittens." Plus, there are stars...glorious stars. What a perfect day!

Brett's 20th Birthday

Today is Brett's birthday. On Friday the 13th he turned 20. Brett reminded Bryan today that he is no longer a teenager.

We had a good day. We got up slow, went to Walter's Restaurant for breakfast and then took off for the beach. We went to Huntington and parked our beach chairs near the pier. It was a perfect day. It was warm but there was a steady cool breeze. We read, slept and felt the ocean spray on our faces. Our plan was to leave in time to drive to Laguna Beach to see a movie there. We love that little theatre on Pacific Coast Highway. There is nothing special about the theatre, except that when you go outside after the movie you get to see the sunset over the ocean. But we left too late and when it became obvious we weren't going to make our movie we just came home.

Brett made his own cake. He wanted to bake it. I didn't argue. It was a pink cake with pink frosting and it said BRETT IS 20 across the top. I turn 50 in October and my youngest child just turned 20. When my children were little many people said to me, "Enjoy them while you can. They grow up so fast." When they were little it didn't seem like they were growing up that fast. But now I get it. My youngest child leaves next month for a year in England. It will be his senior year of college. Matt is hoping to leave next month for a year in Korea.

I worked pretty hard at raising my children to be independent adventurers. Now they are heading off.....independent and adventurous. I want to say, "Not that independent. Not that adventurous." This process of watching your children grow up is a bittersweet task.

Picking Up From Where We Left Off

My extended family gathered at Silver Falls Conference Center, way back in the woods. So far back I didn't have phone reception. It is an incredible place. I highly recommend it for family reunions. There was plenty of grass for playing lawn games. There was a heated pool and several different gathering locations. The food was good and the best part was someone else cooked it. There are many, many beautiful hikes to walk. One morning I went for a hike with my sister and her family. We hiked to two falls and behind both of them. It was too hard for me but we won't go into that sad tale.

When I am with my extended family I get where I come from. My grandparents cared deeply about the church, service, adventure and relationships. My Uncle Richard loves to talk about movies, relationships, who we are at our core, theology and much more. He likes to talk about the things I like to talk about. Needless to say, I could talk to him for hours!

I have a great niece who was at the reunion. Every other time I have been around her she has been too shy for me to come very close. But she is now three and very self confident. She is exploring her world. She let me pick her up and talk to her a couple times but her real interest was my cousin David. David is 50 years old. He is on disability and he moves slowly and gently. She called David her best friend. Every time she saw him her eyes would light up. She sat by him at meals, family gatherings and car trips. She convinced him that he wanted to play "Go Fish." It was the highlight of my trip to Oregon, watching the connection between generations.

Families are interesting. We are so different from each other and yet there are deep similarities that connect us. When we get together we don't have to start at the beginning. We can pick up from where we stopped last time.

Church in the Park

I began my time in Oregon by attending the Ainsworth UCC. I had studied their website several times and was impressed by how current it is. The items on their site were all about events happening in August. So, I got up early on August 8 and checked the website one last time to make sure that I had the right address and correct time for worship. I arrived at the church at 9:59 a.m. for what I believed was a 10 a.m. worship. There was a young family reading a sign on the locked front door. It said that worship was happening at Pennisula Park. Luckily my phone can do GPS and I found the park. I noticed that the young family never did show up.

When I arrived there were a few people there but nothing was happening. I asked someone when church started and she said 10:30 a.m. I said, "Your website says 10 a.m." She said once a year we have church in the park and once a year we meet at 10:30 a.m. There is absolutely nothing about this on their website. At least I didn't find it. It made me want to make sure that at the La Verne CoB we do a better job of keeping our website up to date....weekly.

Even though I was grumpy by the time worship began I was impressed with this congregation I thought to myself, "If I lived in Portland I could see myself in a church like this one." It is multiracial, multicultural, open and affirming and believes in peace. The people of the congregation definitely cared about each other. Children were welcomed and loved. In fact, the children were given bubbles and invited to dance. Instead of a sermon we answered questions about our understanding of God. People felt safe to express themselves. How is that kind of depth of sharing and love fostered in congregational life?

When Ainsworth UCC has "church in the park" they seem less worried about time. I couldn't stay until the end and still meet my family to travel to the reunion. I bid farewell to the woman I was sitting next to and left before the service was over.

One of the things I learned on my last sabbatical was that visiting churches in the summer months is unsatisfying. Usually, their choir is off and their music staff is on vacation. The question can't just be how do we continue to develop vibrant worship September through the middle of June but how do we also retain vibrancy in June, July and August? After all, visitors do continue to come and check us out in the summer.

This next Sunday I will not be visiting a church. Brett and I are getting up in the middle of the night to begin our road trip to Chicago.

Family and Oregon....what could be better?

Tomorrow I fly to Oregon. I am attending a family reunion on my mother's side. These are fun people with free spirits. About four years ago we had a family reunion on an island in Arizona. "Not possible," you say. I have pictures. How many of you can claim that there was belly dancing at your last family reunion? Well, I can. Needless to say, I am looking forward to time with this wonderfully creative and spirit-filled family. I usually end up feeling a bit predictable and dull but it gives me lots of fodder for storytelling. Plus, I crave being with this side of my family because, now that my mother is deceased, these are the people who truly remember her. They understand what a deep wit she had and just how bright she truly was. Being with them connects me to my mother.

I am in charge of the opening get acquainted games. There will only be about 25 of us, but some of us come from as far away as Canberra, Australia. A couple of the people coming I have not met before. My grandparents taught their children to be independent and to travel the world. Those qualities have lived on in their grandchildren and great grandchildren.

I am going a day early so that I can attend a church in Portland. With help I found the Ainsworth UCC church. It looks wonderfully progressive and vibrant. I will soon know.

....Go

I promise I won't blog every day but since this is the first day of my sabbatical, I couldn't help myself. I went to bed last night with dreams of sleeping in late and then staying in bed to read. Perhaps once I finally got out of bed Brett and I would go to the beach.

At 5:30 a.m. Brett told me he needed to go to urgent care. I found a 24 hour site and took him. The doctor said that Brett may need to go to emergency. But eventually the doctor gave him two shots and two prescriptions and said if Brett doesn't improve soon that he needed to go to the hospital to have his tonsil drained. That is how my sabbatical started.

So while Brett was sleeping I decided to clean out the junk drawer in the kitchen. It actually was on my sabbatical to-do list. I found 10 decks of cards, more rubber bands than I will use in a lifetime, coupons that expired in 2008, and things I couldn't identify. When I had it all cleaned out I let it sit that way for a while. It just seemed wrong to put junk back in it.

It reminded me of when I went in for a colonoscopy. After the several days of cleaning out my system and the procedure I was hungry. The doctor said I should go out for breakfast but that just seemed wrong. I was cleaner than I had ever been before. Why put junk back into my body? So what did I learn on my first day? I learned that when you finish cleaning your junk drawer you still have a junk drawer.

Ready....Set.....

It is 4 p.m. on the eve of my sabbatical. You can see my desk blotter for the first time since I claimed this desk as my own 8 years ago. In the last several weeks, between pastoral duties, I have sifted and sorted and tossed. If nothing else, a sabbatical encourages a pastor to clean out the debris that has collected in one's office.

I expected that I would skip and giggle through this whole day. I am so very excited about the adventures I have planned for the next 11 weeks. But I think pensive would better describe my mood today. I feel like I do right before the Christmas Eve service. My mind is filled with details and I so desperately want everything to go well. I am praying and hoping for sacredness to seep through all the details. Plus, people keep saying "Good-bye" and I am so embedded in the life of the church that it seems awkward and clumsy to disconnect from that, even if just for a short time. It all seems so surreal and strange. I am guessing that it will take me several weeks just to let go, relax and allow my sabbatical to be what it is and to lead me where I need to go.

Besides traveling to wonderful places with wonderful people I now have a stack of books beside my bed. I admit it...I started into the stack early. I already finished a book by Tana French. I think she is my new favorite author....sorry Stephen King. This morning I started a book by Peter Gomes entitled The Scandalous Gospel of Jesus. His premise is that we need to preach what Jesus preached, not preach Jesus. I have jotted down several sermon ideas and written all over the margins of the book and I just finished Chapter 2.

I also have a couple projects planned. I want to create a cookbook of my mother's favorite recipes...a gift for my siblings. I began this book earlier but it amazes me how time consuming it is and what large blocks of time are required for completion. Brett and I have some painting projects to do. That boy brings color into my life! And I want to do another doodle I brazenly call art.

Tonight is Commission night and I still have some work to do but mostly my mind is on tomorrow.....a wide open day. Imagine that!