A Snake Story

When I was growing up my mother had a pet boa constrictor. Yes, you read that correctly...a boa constrictor. It was 8 feet long and she named it Macijiya, which means female snake in Hausa. When people let her know they thought she was bizarre for having a pet snake she would say, "What other pet will hug you like a boa constrictor?" My mother fed her snake live mice until one bit her precious Macijiya. From then on she raised her own mice until she had dozens. Then my dad would kill them for her and she would put them in the deep freeze until the snake was hungry.

My cousin Jill with my mother's snake.

My freshman year of college I met Bryan, who is now my husband. After several months of dating it was time for Bryan to meet my parents. I warned him that my mother was atypical. Bryan drove me to San Diego for the weekend. When we arrived my mother, Bryan and I sat in the living room making conversation. At one point Bryan said, "Susan tells me you have a pet boa constrictor." Without skipping a beat my mother said, "Yes, I do. Would you like to hold her?" Bryan thought it was some kind of test and so he answered, "Sure."

So within a half hour of meeting my mother, Bryan was draped with an 8 foot boa. A snake uses its tail for balance. So Macijiya's tail went through Bryan's legs and tightened. The snake brought its head up to rest on the top of Bryan's glasses. Suddenly it dawned on him what was happening because he turned to me and said, "When was the last time you held this snake." I laughed and said, "I wouldn't hold that thing." With a bit of panic in his voice he said to my mother, "Will it bite me?" Completely deadpan my mother replied, "Only if it senses you have any fear?" Immediately Bryan said to me, "Will you ask you mother to please remove this snake from my body?"

I wish I had the foresight to have a camera ready. What an image. My new boyfriend wrapped in a boa constrictor, my mother reaching through his legs to unhook the snake's tail. All I can say is....Bryan must really love me.