Heading East

I left today on a trip unlike other trips I have taken before.  I have never taken a road trip by myself.  I usually spend hours making plans and I put in very little time getting ready for this trip.  I decided I wanted to go east and that there were things that would be nice to see if I could.  The reason this trip is different is because I am now a widow.  Every moment of every day I miss my husband.  One of my secondary losses is all the dreams we had for trips we were going to take together are now gone.  I am having to re-dream my dreams.

I'm an extrovert and I like to travel with others.  I am also very clear that I don't want to depend on others to be able to live my dreams.  So...I took a trip this year with my sister.  It was fabulous.  I took a trip with my children and their partners.  It was magical.  Now I want to know if I can travel without others and still enjoy myself.  I know I can travel alone....but will I like it?  This trip is a test.

I got up at 4 a.m. this morning and left the house by 4:30 a.m.  I did that because one of my fantasies when I am driving home to a dark house at night and I know that no one is waiting there for me is to just get on the freeway and drive away...escape my lonely house.  But I always go home because there is a dog there who needs attention....and also because I know that if I run away I won't be less lonely.

But I thought it would be nice to leave in the dark and pretend I was running away.  I took the 10 East.  I went through Phoenix and down to Tucson.  I got off the freeway at Tucson because I realized I had never seen the Tucson Church of the Brethren.  I found it.

Back on the freeway I entertained myself in numerous ways.  I listened to a book on tape:  The End of White Christian America.  It is over 7 hours long.  I still have an hour to go.  I rocked out to music from the sixties.  I talked to my children on the phone.  I kept track of what state license plates I saw (I have 31, so far). I sat quietly and thought about stories I would like to write.  I let the clouds wow me.

I drove all the way to Las Cruces, New Mexico.  I drove for 11 1/2 hours.  I'm not sure why I did that except that just driving was part of the fantasy.  I am staying at a hotel in Las Cruces that looks down over the city.  This is my favorite part of the hotel.  They are very conscientious about making sure everyone can reach the elevator buttons!

As soon as I got to my room I changed into jeans and headed out for White Sands National Monument.  Our family went there when I was 6 years old.  I have a vivid memory of the place and wanted to see it again....50 years later.  It is about a 45 minute drive from Las Cruces.  It costs $5 to get in and closes at 8 p.m.  Tonight is the eve of the full moon and I thought that might be cool.

This place is beyond description.  My photos can't do it justice.  I arrived right at dusk, parked at the picnic grounds and climbed a sand dune.

It had rained shortly before I arrived, which made the sand more compact and, therefore, easier to traverse.  It also made for some beautiful reflections.

I was worried that the moon might not rise before the park shut down.  No need to worry.

I drove back to my hotel.  It has been a long, long day.  That is another reason I should learn to make some trips alone.  I like to suck the marrow out of every day.  I'm not usually the kind of person that flies to some idyllic locale and then sits by the pool all day.  I want to see things.  Not everyone wants to work that hard while on vacation!