Easy Like Sunday Morning

I left this morning on my retirement road trip.  My Euchre Card Club sent me off with one of the winners' trophies.....because I won at our last gathering.  They suggested I put in on my dashboard and send them some pics.  I only turned around once towards home to get something I had forgotten.

As soon as I hit the Nevada state line I put on the playlist I created of songs that mention Nevada or places in Nevada. I listened to Duke Ellington's Nevada, Elvis singing Viva Las Vegas and Grateful Dead's Friend of the Devil.  My first stop on this extended trip is the home of my son, Brett and his husband, Brendon. They run a bakery out of their home by doing a pop up in their driveway every Saturday morning.  They prep for it all week and Thursday and Friday are especially busy days.  I had called them ahead of time and suggested that I pick up lunch when I arrived in Vegas.   Brendon asked that instead of picking up food in Vegas I bring Patty's burritos with me.  Patty's is a hole in the wall taqueria around the corner from my home..  It is a family favorite.  

I spent much of the afternoon in their air-conditioned garage where much of the magic of their bakery happens.  Brett had already been hard at work when I arrived making the Key Lime filling for Key Lime pies.  Brett is also making Boston "Tea Party" Cream pies in honor of the 4th of July.  He put matcha in the cream part of the pie.  I did the essential work of handing him the pie tins.  I don't know how he would have managed without me.  This what their weekly email said about the pies: 

This Boston Cream Pie has anarchy written all over it.  Matcha Sponge with chocolate ganache, sponge separated by pastry cream.  This whole pie know it's a cake, wants to identify as a cake and we're absolutely here for it. 

Brendon worked in the kitchen cutting up fresh pineapple for the Pineapple Bourbon Smash Upside Down Cake and pluerries (a hybrid of a plum and cherry) for the peach leaf & pluerry croissant on this week's menu.

While Brett shaped sourdough bread loaves I helped Brendon assemble the pastry boxes they will use for the pop up.  

By 5 p.m. we called it a day and went for a swim in their beautiful pool.  My PT said that I should make use of all pools I have access to on this trip. Brett and Brendon eventually told me that I needed to get out and come inside before I became dehydrated in the desert weather.  

Tomorrow I will get up early and start some serious driving.  Brett will be up around 4 a.m. making the house smell so good.  I wish I could stay longer but I need to get to Camp Pine Lake in Iowa in time for supper on July 3.  I have already created my playlists for Arizona, Utah and Colorado -- the three states I will speed through tomorrow.  I am slowly creating my retirement playlist.  Easy Like Sunday Morning was my first choice.  I never resonated with that song before but now it makes me smile.

The Beginning of What Is Next

Tomorrow is my last Sunday as a pastor.  I was licensed to ministry when I was 19 years old.  I have been an ordained minister for the last 37 years.  For my entire adult life,  the church has defined my life and the life of my family. Every Sunday morning I awoke to the sound of the alarm.  I have listened to people joke about what a great job I have since I only work on Sundays.  I have not been invited to parties where the hosts worry that my presence will make their guests feel uncomfortable.  I can't tell you how many times in my life I have been in a gathering of people and when someone said "shit" every head turned towards me and the person who uttered the word looked shame-faced and said, "Sorry, Reverend."

I know I sound like I'm complaining.  I'm not.  I'm reflecting on what I won't miss about pastoral ministry and the inevitable role and expectation with which you are saddled.  There are so many more blessed and wonderful things I will miss or I wouldn't have spent the last 37 years being a minister.  Pastors get to witness the most authentic moments of peoples' lives.  Some days I just had to lift up a prayer of gratitude: "Thank you God for letting me witness this moment."  I had the best seat in the sanctuary.  I got to see everyone's faces except the choir members and I was enveloped in the beautiful music they made together.  It floated down over the choir loft and filled my soul.  I got to hear people's truths and help them think about important, life-changing decisions they were facing.  I was asked to inspire and create....dream and envision.....comfort and challenge. I was asked to bless love, dedicate children and celebrate the lives of deceased saints.  It was a great gig and one I deeply loved!

But I am ready to fully lean into retirement.  I know it will be a huge transition.  It isn't just figuring out where I will live and if I will have enough to live on.  Retirement is letting go and then figuring out what is next.  For months and months, I have been working with a therapist and a spiritual director about this transition.  But I don't really think you can really prepare for retirement before you do it.  The truth is I have absolutely no idea what it will feel like to be retired.  I didn't know what parenthood really was until I was a parent (and even then I didn't always understand what I was supposed to be doing as a parent).  I didn't know what being a pastor entailed until I was a pastor.  

But here I go.  I am ready to not set an alarm.  I want to ride my e-bike; ponder what I will make for dinner; write stories that are not work product; learn to edit my podcast; sort through my photos, travel without hurrying; truly be present to and with my family on Easter and Christmas; and be surprised by new possibilities and adventures.