Happiness is not a matter of intensity
but of balance, order, rhythm and harmony.
-- Thomas Merton

Friday, December 24, 2010

Christmas Eve


It is Christmas Eve afternoon. I have been going at high speed for several weeks and now that I am ready for tonight and Sunday I feel so relieved. I really thought when I had an empty nest Bryan and I would bump into each other all the time. But either life is busier or I am slower at accomplishing things. There are so many things Bryan and I didn't do this year. We didn't put up any lights outside. I didn't feel too bad about that until I drove past this house on Thoroughbred Street in Upland. It made me feel like an underachiever.

We didn't send out Christmas cards either. I used to send out a funny letter in reaction to all those Christmas letters you get in which everyone's child graduated from MIT or they sailed around the world on their own yacht. But I couldn't find a witty bone in my body this year.

My sister and my father called this afternoon. My father had a stroke in 2008 and while he knows what he wants to say, he usually can't say it. But recently he has found some language returning. Today on the phone he said, "Merry Christmas." I told him it was the best present he could give me.

Then we Skyped with Matt and his girlfriend, Kairee. They already had their Christmas morning and were getting ready to cook their Christmas dinner. Tomorrow they leave for Japan.

Tonight is the Christmas Eve service at the church. I talked to a man on the phone yesterday who said that he usually drives up from Long Beach for our Christmas Eve service but he won't be doing that this year. He said he would miss our service because it is so beautiful and calm. I agree.

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