I have been dreading Mother's Day this year. The young men who made me a mother live on different continents -- Matt in Asia and Brett in Europe. I was so sad about Easter without my children that Bryan took me away for several days. But Bryan can't keep whisking me away whenever there is a holiday. I know that many mothers before me have gone through the empty nest and I will make it.
The thing that makes it hard is how much I love to be with these delightful men. I had Matt when I was 26 years old. He weighed 9 lbs. 8 oz. and we called him "Buddha." He was easy, happy and loved to tell stories. Matt sets his stories to music now.
Brett was born when I was 29 years old. I went on a low fat, low sugar diet when pregnant with Brett and he weighed in a full two pounds less than Matt. He was focused, intense and loved to dress up. Brett still loves to dress up.
Last night, Bryan and I Skyped with Matt and his girlfriend, Kairee, for over an hour. Thank God for technology. Tonight when I got home there was a letter for me from Brett. On the envelope he had written "Mum." Inside he wrote me three pages of his love for me. He said, "Now in my twenties I see all the positive things you instilled in me, while somehow letting me be myself and form my own opinions. Thank you for being a wonderful mother who taught me to love and who let me be myself no matter what that meant." The truth is that it is hard to let your children become themselves while at the same time you would never have it any other way. What I will miss this Mother's Day is shared memories, healing laughter and incessant teasing but most of all I will miss being with the wonderful, unique men who happen to be my sons.
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